A woman and her 7years old son were inside a Keke Napep. It was raining and all the LovePeddlers were standing by the roadside.
The Boy asked; Mummy, what are all those women doing?. His Mother replied; They are waiting for their husbands to come back from work.
The Keke Napep driver turned around and said; Why don’t you tell him the truth?. Little boy, they are LovePeddlers, they sleep with men for money.
The Boy’s eyes got wide and asked; Mummy is that true?. His mother, glaring hard at the driver replied; Yes.
After a few minutes, the boy asked; Mummy, what happens to the babies those women have?. She replied; Most of them become Keke Napep drivers.
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CONFESSION OF A LADY:
During lunch at work lastweek, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn’t). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly; Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me
promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming
unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump!
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
apologising for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold. To my utmost surprise, twelve dinner guests were seated around the table, with hand holding their noses!
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I guess we are going to know “Who Run The World?” after reading this post.
A LADY’S INBOX:
1. I luv u dear (Bello)
2. Can i take u out tonite?(Bassey)
3. I always feel bad when I see u with another man (Okoye)
4. Sweetie don’t forget d trip (MD)
5. Darling, av u seen d credit I sent u? (Collins)
6. Honey, I will do whatever it takes just for u to be by my side(Evans)
7. Consider it done (Senator)
8. Baby, check ur a/c bal and callme back (Chairman)
A GUY’S INBOX:
1. UR data bundle will soon expire (MTN)
2. Hey dude, give me a break! I told u am married (Jane)
3. Don’t dare call me again, cheat (Patricia)
4. Am warning u, let this month not be a story telling event like the last 3 months (Landlord)
5. Brother am still expecting d money for d NECO form (Junior bros)
6. My pickin, you dey? Abeg send chop money quick, hunger wan finish us here o (Mama)
7. I dey hospital, pls send d N120,000 quick quick for d appendix operation or u can keep and use it
for my burial (Papa)
8 I av nt seen my period for 3 weeks (Neighbour’s daughter). Such is life.
[@SeyilawComedy @Klintthedrunk @GordonComedian @Basketmouth_]
Teacher: Ok class, let’s show the principal & our guests how much we’ve learnt so far dis year!
Let’s do comparisons…So I say small, U say small, smaller, smallest..
[students nod ]
CLASS: Big, Bigger, Biggest..
CLASS: clean, cleaner, cleanest..
CLASS: tall, taller, tallest….
TEACHER: [smiles]: very gud!!
CLASS: very gud, very gudder, very gudest..
TEACHER:” oh gosh..
CLASS: oh gosh, oh gosher, oh goshest!!!
TEACHER: stop it now”:O
CLASS: stop it now…stop it nower…stop it nowest!!
TEACHER: oh please..”
CLASS: oh please, oh pleaser…O’ pleasest..”
TEACHER: Look at me..!!>:O
CLASs: look at me, look at me-er, look at me-est..
TEACHER: What a disgrace!X_X
CLASS: what a disgrace ,what a disgracer, what a disgrace-st.
TEACHER [furious]: I don die…
CLASS: I don die, I don dier, I don diest.
The Teacher fainted
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[@SeyiLawComedy @Basketmouth_ @Klintthedrunk @GordonComedian]
YOUR SINS ARE FORGIVEN
A man went to his pastor, knelt down and began confessing tearfully pastor I have sinned
Pastor : My son what did you do, just confess what exactly did you do? God almighty will forgive you
Man: (sobbing) pastor I committed adultery with several of the female church members
Pastor : can you mention their names and how many times you slept with each of them? You see for your forgiveness to be complete, you need to mention them, so that we can also pray for them.
Man: Aaaah Pastor I cannot, I am ashamed
Pastor; Okay this is what we will do, after service we will go to the church entrance together and watch members come out, once anyone you have slept with comes out , just say PAU if it is once, you slept with her. The number of times you say PAU, will indicate the number of times you slept with that particular person.
And so they went to the church entrance.
Head usher passes wriggling her buttocks
Man: Pau. Pau
Pastor: The Lord forgive you
Deacon’s wife passes carrying bible
Pastor :May the Lord forgive you
A choir member passes by singing
Man: pau pau pau
Pastor: God will forgive you…yes he will
Lo and behold…Pastor’s wife passes by and Man
goes off like an AK 47….
Man: Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau pau pau pau Pau Pau pau pau Pau pau pau
pau pau pau pauPau Pau Pau Pau Pau pau Pau Pau Pau Pau Pau pau pau pau Pau Pau pau pau Pau
Pastor:Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee paaaaa Ahusubillahi. . God will never forgive you in dis life!!!!!
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Hello all, welcome to the “Top Parody ComedianS Blog” on twitter!!
[@klintthedrunk @SeyilawComedy @GordonComedian]
I wonder why someone would just sit down and blog silly liss. .hmmmph. .anyway back to
Jide was hungry and went to ‘mai shayi’ (men selling tea and bread).The following transpired between the man and the mai shayi.
JIDE: u get loaf of bread?
JIDE: bring one; slice am two and put 2 sachet of butter in btw the slice.
ABOKI: (happy and tankin God 4 bringing customer, was just doing as he is told)
JIDE: u get egg?
ABOKI: yes customer
JIDE: fry 20 egg put am btw the bread.
ABOKI: okay customer
JIDE: u get sadin 4 inside gongoni?
ABOKI: yes customer everytin dey.
JIDE: put two gongoni inside the bread.
ABOKI: okay customer (happy and doing as he is told, in his mind he wil make a lot of money 2day)
JIDE: u don finish? Oya press the bread for me.
ABOKI: see am customer, i don prepare am finish.
JIDE: . . . . . OYA CUT TEN NAIRA OWN FOR ME
I DECLARE UNTO YE TODAY. .THAT EVERY JIDE (CHEATING SPIRIT) IN YOUR LIFE SHALL BE CONFUSED AND CLUELESS LIKE GEJ!! AMEN!
[@klintthedrunk @SeyilawComedy @GordonComedian] Reporting!!
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